“She remembered who she was
and the game changed.”
― Lalah Delia
Suyanisqatsi: Life in Balance
Day and night. Earth and sky. Life and death. Conscious and subconscious. Right and left. Receptive and productive. Introspective and extrospective. Male and female. Yin and Yang. Nature is a constant dance between two opposites, constantly striving for balance. As creatures of nature, we too, are creatures of tensegrity, constantly being pulled in opposite directions to achieve stability. The beauty of these natural opposites is illustrated in the Chinese concept of Yin and Yang. Yes, these are completely opposite energies, but they are also completely dependent on each other. The sun and moon are often seen as polar energies, but each of their unique functions are vital to our Earth as we know it. One of the opposites we, as humans, balance is energetic. All of us are made of a unique balance of Divine Masculine and Feminine energies.
Misnomer
In no way is this a discussion about gender. The gender binary is a complete myth. It is a divisive tool that has devalued many Indigenous beliefs and cultures and waged war on individuality. Everyone on the planet has characteristics of both god and goddess within them. Few people are anywhere near a 50-50 split. This balance we each naturally own, is an important aspect of what makes us unique individuals, providing society with a full spectrum of individuality. Nature is most beautiful and healthy when it is diverse and this variety is an important part of what makes us as humans a healthy, happy species.
“In the older view the goddess Universe was alive. . . Now she is dead, and the universe is not an organism, but a building, with gods at rest in it in luxury: not as personifications of the energies in their manners of operation, but as luxury tenants, requiring service. And Man, accordingly, is not as a child born to flower in the knowledge of his own eternal portion but as a robot fashioned to serve.”
― Joseph Campbell,
Toxicity
Historical trends swing from one extreme to the other, constantly riding a pendulum, seeking that sweet spot in the middle. Currently we are riding the wave of an overly masculine society. We are totally out of balance. The journey to our imbalanced society began in the 14th century B.C., so ya, a long freaking time ago. It was then that the Egyptian pharaoh Akhenaten established a cult devoted only to the sun god, Aton. He destroyed the temples of other gods and goddesses, eventually paving the way to monotheism. Ever since then the pendulum has swung further to the masculine end of the spectrum. We have been living in a Divine Feminine vacuum since antiquity.
Toxic Masculinity
This absence of the Feminine Divine is reflected in many of the ills in our current society. Our need to constantly be doing, running round and round the hamster wheel is just one sign that we are operating with too much masculine energy. We don’t stop, reflect, and recharge. We charge through life, racing from one task to the next. The increase in violence and aggression we are seeing is another symptom. People are using violence and aggression to display their power. Another symptom our society is ailing is this stoic, “nothing bothers me” attitude. Not displaying or honoring your emotions has become the norm. People often say “I don’t want to trouble others with my problems”, or “Things aren’t that bad”. The idea that you have to handle everything, all by yourself is not true. Your tribe is here to support you. Accepting help does not equate weakness. That’s just toxic masculinity talking.
Toxic Femininity
This is not a man-hating rant that the Divine Feminine is the end all be all. It is a point of balance on a scale. The importance of bringing her back is that we don’t have her, but we must be careful not to swing too far in the other direction. Toxic femininity is also a thing. Being too empathetic, allowing yourself to be overly influenced by the environment you are in is an overbalance of feminine energy. Overly worrying and suffering from cyclical thoughts is also a sign of imbalance. Staying in unhealthy relationships for too long is also a sign of a Feminine imbalance. Always putting yourself and your needs behind others is also a sign that the Feminine needs to come back in her lane. The martyr syndrome, too much self-sacrificing or self-abandoning is not healthy and doesn’t mean you’re a better parent or partner. It’s just too much feminine energy.
While too much of either energy is a bad thing, currently we are in desperate need of the Divine Feminine’s return. Not only have we neglected her, we have vilified her. We taught ourselves that she is evil, darkness, and temptation. Even our major religions have placed her in the shadows. The Goddess is hidden in Christianity disguised as the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalen. In Judaism you can find her in the Shekinah. We have also turned most of the feminine deities into monsters and witches. Yet she is us. She is our birthright. By placing her in the shadows this divine power, and thus her wisdom is lost to us. Yet she is calling, demanding to be let out of the box we put her in. Slowly, surly, however we are swinging back into balance. For too long we caged the Divine Feminine. We neutered her, but she is powerful. She demands balance. She will not be kept in a cage. Oh Pandora, what will we finally reclaim when we let her out?
“People often think of the Goddess as a fertility deity only. Not at all—she’s the muse. She’s the inspirer of poetry. She’s the inspirer of the spirit. So, she has three functions: one, to give us life; two, to be the one who receives us in death; and three, to inspire our spiritual, poetic realization.”
― Joseph Campbell
Introducing the Divine Feminine
Birth, life, death, rebirth. The Maiden, the Mother and the Crone are faces of the Divine Feminine. The Divine Feminine is soft, and sweet but she is not just sugar and spice and everything nice. She is also blood and sweat. She is inner wisdom and strength. She is sensual and creative. She has many faces, each just as important and valuable as the others. These faces illustrate just how vast and extremely expansive the Divine Feminine is. She is the Maiden, inspiring creativity and finding herself. She is the Mother, putting all else above herself as the ultimate caregiver and nurturer. She is also the Crone, passing her wisdom down to the following generations. These archetypes and energies transcend both time and culture. This is why you can find examples of the maiden, mother, and crone all around the world and throughout time. This model is known as the Triple goddess in Neo pagan traditions. In Hinduism it's the Tridevi, the Greeks had the Fates. Ironically this also mirrors the masculine Holy Trinity found in Christianity.
The Divine Feminine is more concerned with the inner being and emotions than what is going on in the outside world. The Divine Feminine is more receptive than active. She wants to sit and muse, basking in the beauty of life for the sheer joy of being, rather than be out in the world doing. She is the embodiment of vulnerability, openness, and sensitivity. She is cooperative, and is very relationship oriented, often more concerned with the greater good than herself. She is the cosmic nurturer.
Just as the Divine Feminine has nothing to do with gender, the Maiden, Mother, and Crone have nothing to do with age. Any aspect can be accessed anytime by anyone. Each aspect has its own strengths and lessons that we need at different times in our lives. Some we need to revisit as we grow and change as humans. What are these lessons?
Maiden- Empowerment
Artemis, Athena, Hestia, Persephone
Waxing Moon
What do I Want?
The Maiden is empowerment. Symbolized by the waxing moon, the Maiden signifies growth, expansion, movement, and discovery. The Maiden is where we discover our desires. This is the energy we use to explore what we want, leaving what our family, or job expects of us behind. With the Maiden we break away from others and dive deep into discovering self. The Maiden is the place for adventure and new beginnings. Often today, when we reach the Maiden stage in our own life cycle we are discouraged from such self discovery. Instead of being able to discover what we desire, we are put in a different sort of cage. A cage of what is desired from us. A cage of expectations, worry and of fear. A true Maiden will not be put in a cage. A true Maiden is free.
The beauty of the Maiden lies in her independence. She belongs to no one. If she wants to lay in the grass she does. If the Maiden wants to howl at the moon she does. If she wants to take on a lover, she does. She dances wildly and laughs loudly. She finds joy in life. She is unburdened by obligations. She is not held back by worry or fear. She carries with her the bravery and confidence of one that has never been hurt. She has no scars to hold her back. She is purity and innocence.
The Maiden is also creation. Newly living life, she is open to creating the life she wishes. She inspires others, serving as the muse that inspires poetry, music, and art. The Maiden also creates, causing growth. She is the naturally curious energy we use as we explore new ideas and ideals. The Maiden is fearless.
Honestly, the Maiden is the energy I struggle with the most. At first I thought it was just me, that I’m flirting too much with the Crone to relate. Then I realized the Maiden energy we know is highly distorted. The Maiden we know is a lie, used to keep feminine energy stunted. To our society the Maiden embodies beauty, naivety, and superficiality. This view freezes the Divine Feminine energy. It tells us it’s OK to be silly if your hair and nails are on point. Social media, entertainment and the like promotes this ideal. This is totally demeaning to us and the Maiden energy. Now our self worth is primarily based on appearance. Our entire self worth is now just swipeable. This distortion of the Maiden is weak. A travesty that always needs to be saved. Indoctrinate us young with this flaccid version of the Maiden and you stop the Divine Feminine energy in its tracks. The real Maiden is nothing like this. She doesn’t need to be saved. Society has neutered her simply because they fear her. Thankfully this trend is changing, and changing quickly. The movement for self empowerment and discovery is coming at us like a tidal wave.
Mother- Strength
Gaia, Innana, Isis, Hathor, Durga, Mary, Yemaya, Demeter, La Sirène
Full Moon
What do I need?
The ideal Mother; a source of comfort, guidance, and love. Someone who wants only the best for us and is there to take care of us. Someone who is abundant in comfort, compassion, and strength. She is the one that gives us life, nurtures us through our toughest times. She is the embodiment of compassion, and patience. When we picture the Mother archetype we may envision the blessed Virgin Mary, or the green lushness of Gaia, Mother Earth. Mother is love. Mother is life. Mother, however, is also protection, justice, and destruction. Mother is strength. Mothers do what has to be done in order to protect their children.
We must never forget that Mother Bear, Kali, and Pele are also Mother Goddesses. These are powerful forces that are not afraid to heal with fire. She is Demeter, who will let the world whither when she is in mourning for her child. This is the side of the Mother that dishes justice, makes mistakes, and sweeps in like a typhoon when necessary. Life and death, reward and punishment. Polar opposites that require the strength of character to balance them all.
Mother also plays another balancing act that requires a great deal of strength. Whereas the Maiden is about discovering what you desire, the Mother is about serving those around you. Favoring the benefit of the community above yourself. However, you cannot fully take care of others if you yourself are in need. The Mother's energy, symbolized by the full moon, is herself full. Her needs are met, so she is available to attend to the needs of others.
Currently we idealize the Mother as an infallible figure of undying love and devotion. She always looks perfect and has all of the answers. This is only half of the Mother. She is both the love and devotion of Yemaya, and the rage and destruction of Kali. To put the Mother in the perfection box teaches us that to be less than this unattainable ideal is to be at fault. The Mother embraces her own vulnerability. Mistakes become an opportunity for learning and growth instead of shame.
The Mother is also the epitome of creation. Not only is she capable of creating life. Mother energy goes way beyond having a baby. She creates art, homes, food, and gardens. She creates relationships. She creates business plans, and spreadsheets, lesson plans, and blueprints. She builds engines and makes laws. She tends to all of her infant projects until they blossom into fruition. Where as the Maiden inspires creativity, the Mother brings those ideas into reality.
Crone- Truth
Baba Yaga, Hecate, Morrigan, Grandmother Spiderwoman, Ereshkigal, Mary Magdalene, Maman Brigitte, Lillith
Waning Moon
What is my truth?
To put it mildly the Crone gives no f****ks. The crone has accumulated the knowledge and wisdom of a lifetime and uses it fearlessly. She lives life exclusively on her own terms. The Crone is an odd duck, and would have it no other way. She sees life as it truly is. The Crone is not to be fooled. She sees the wizard behind the curtain and knows his tricks well. She is not to be trifled with or put in a home. She is wise, and uses that wisdom to help others. Whereas the maiden explores, and mother balances, the crone serves as a beacon of truth in the dark night. She is here to guide us, to show us reality. She is here to help, if only we would stop running away from her.
The Crone is the one who understands that the only constant is change. She has a very even keel, and would laugh when others may cry. She is the one that reminds us that no matter what happens it will all work out in the end. The Crone is very closely related to the Maiden in that they both live life fearlessly and independently. The Crone’s power lies in her understanding of herself and the Universe. She knows her place and owns it with authority. She is truth. She is wisdom. She is soul power.
Mysterious and hidden. Aged and oh so misunderstood. The Crone has sadly become the Wicked Witch, the Old Woman who bakes children into pies. Society tells us that she should be feared, that she is ugly. We deny the beauty that comes with age. We deny her wisdom. The word Crone is derived from the old word for crown. Her wisdom emanates from her head like a halo. She is the wisdom keeper, seer, healer and midwife. The Middle Ages saw the downfall of the Crone. Our midwives and healers turned to witches. Our wizened matriarchs turned to hags. The crow goddess became just a plain old crow. Don’t you worry my pretty, unlike in fairy tales, in reality the Crone will get the last laugh. We are conditioned to fear getting old, of death. In giving this fear power we have lost the fearlessness of the Crone. Her power is not that she is close to death, but that she is close to rebirth. We have forgotten the cycle, that everything is just transformation. We have forgotten that rebirth and transformation follows death.
Connecting With the Divine Feminine
The Divine Feminine is ancient, powerful, and necessary. Each aspect has its own characteristics and functions. As a whole, we need to balance her with the Divine Masculine, bring her back into the light. The Divine Feminine is where we find the drive for self care. It’s where we build community, experience beauty and inspiration. The Divine Feminine is what carries the inner strength and wisdom we need to overcome challenges. So how do you tap into such awesome energy?
Get Creative
The Divine Feminine is creative power, so get creative. Dance around with wild abandon. Write a short story. Paint or sketch a picture. Sing in the car, or the shower. Cook a colorful meal with love. It does not matter what you do or how “good” it is, do SOMETHING, anything creative. Be brave, bold, and vulnerable. Step outside of your comfort zone and explore different things you love to do. Do these things just for the joy of doing them. Want bonus points? Get creative with someone else. Creative collaboration anyone?
Be in Nature
You can really feel the Divine Feminine energy out in nature. All of nature is creation. Appreciate the abundance and beauty found in nature. The Divine Feminine is also especially associated with the Moon. Gaze at the moon. Set goals according to the lunar phases, instead of the days or weeks. Even just making this shift in awareness can make a huge difference. Water is also associated with the Divine Feminine. Swim in the ocean that is Yemaya. Bath in the fresh waters of Atabey. Let the nurturing energy wash over you.
Follow Your Own Path
The Divine Feminine is all about your inner environment. It is all about openness, bravery, strength and vulnerability. One key point in connecting with the Divine Feminine is to boldly follow your own path. Do not buy into the misconception of what you should be doing, or what our overly masculine society tells you what you need to be. No, you do not need to be June Cleaver in the kitchen and Pamela Anderson in the bedroom. You also do not have to be the strong, stoic, one that shoulders the weight of the world on their shoulders. Women can be leaders and men can cry. The key to channeling the Divine Feminine is to boldly and bravely be who you are. Fearlessly make choices that create the life you want to live. The scariest moment is when you realize there is no right or wrong answer. Reality is just an open sea of possibility.
Treat Your Body Like the Temple it Is
Taking care of your own needs channels the Divine Mother in us all. Nurture yourself like a mother nurtures her young. Channel the abundance of Gaia and honor your body with good food, adequate exercise, rest, and hydration. Eat good, clean, whole foods. Eating a well balanced, whole food diet is one of the best ways to honor the Divine Feminine. She is all about creation and fertility. Treasure the body that you’ve grown. Treat it with the respect and honor you would a sacred space, for it is just that, sacred. Don’t forget the water. Keep your body well hydrated. Allow yourself down time to maintain mental health. Also make sure that you get the amount of rest you need for restoration. Keeping your body healthy and vibrant is a sure way to get in touch with the Divine Feminine.
Self Care
Make sure you take the time you need to get in some real self care. The Divine Feminine is about restoration. Take the time to slow down and restore. Stop rushing from one thing to the next. Make space to reflect on how you are doing and give yourself the gifts you need to recover from the day, week, or year.
The Divine Feminine is also about introspection. Take the time to learn more about yourself. Take Persephone’s hand and go on the journey to discover the inner workings of yourself. Learn what you are feeling and why. Understanding why you do what you do is the fastest way to genuine empowerment. Some powerful tools for self discovery are journaling, and meditation.
Make Sure Your Relationships Deserve You
The Divine Feminine is about love, compassion, and relationships. She often gives more of herself than she receives. She is also a goddess, capable of death and destruction. She understands her worth. She is you. Her worth is your worth. Honor your own divinity by burning away unhealthy relationships with the wrath of Pele. If a relationship isn’t helping you grow, kill it off. Its death will be followed by a rebirth that will inspire you.
Listen to your intuition.
We can list all the properties and attributes of the Divine Feminine. At the end of the day, however, no one can really tell you what that means for you. You are a unique balance of male and female energies. Only you know what that balance is for you. The Divine Feminine is more than happy, however, to guide you inwards to discover what that balance is. She is more than ready to take you deep into that journey of self discovery. If you’re really sweet, maybe she’ll lend you the intuition you need to find your way.
“Being brave enough to just be unapologetic for who you are, that's a goddess.”
-Banks
The Divine Feminine is a non-denominational concept. It is a tool for self-exploration that will restore balance to our lives. Just as the sun and moon coexist and bring balance to the Earth, the Divine Feminine and Masculine coexist to bring balance to us and our society. We’ve been over-masculinized for too long. Feminine energy is something we have been taught to be ashamed of. She has been demonized. Why? She is powerful. She is love and destruction, life, and death. People fear these things. Fear is why the Goddess has been put down for so long. Yet, to deny her is to deny ourselves. In putting down the divine feminine we have removed an entire set of tools we need to use for guidance, wisdom, and healing. Claim the Maiden, Mother, and Crone. Own the blood, sweat, and power inherent in our feminine energy and embrace the divine feminine. This is how we reclaim our true power. This is how we heal. A relationship to the divine feminine is an important part of celebrating our own uniqueness and finding our authentic voice. This is the path to healing.
References
MythBlast | The Flowering of the Feminine Divine
https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/divine-feminine